Staining Sarah's burial box

Rob and the kids stained the casket for Sarah. Rob made it. As you can see from our table that it was just after Christmas and my kids were playing every game the got.

Megan wants to help.

Christmas 2009

I think Megan likes her p-j's and her new doggy. Grandma and Grandpa Radice sent us pajama grams. They are so cute. She was worn out. My Santa Claus.Before the mad rush of the opening of gifts.Our cute Christmas tree. We were very blessed this year with lots of generosity. The stocking opening

Our flannel shirts from Grandma and Grandpa

My kids in their new flannel shirts for Christmas.

1st day of my D&E

We decided to do the D&E. I talked to a lot of friends and got everybodies opinion. We prayed about it and we decided for the recovery that we would do the D&E. Spencer went to Christophers until Thursday. Alan and Brenda came over for dinner on Sunday night and took Spencer home with them. We met Clarissa in Rochester to drop off the rest of the kids until Thursday. Then we were on our way to Seattle's Swedish Hospital. We left really early. We got there 2 hours early so we went to the humongous library. It was 9 stories tall. We read some magazines and I tryed to stay calm. I tryed to breath deeply. We saw the doctor named Dr Reisner. She was so nice and very sorry that we had to meet this way. She talk to us for about an hour and a half and then she put in 3 dialators. She said that doing it this way will not damage my cervix. So if we want to have anymore children we could. Then we went out to dinner. I was feeling fine. We went home and watched a movie and went to bed. I could think of nicer ways to spend 4 days with Rob without any children.

2nd day of my D&E

Today was not very much fun. The social worker was there to talk to ,we told her we would like to take the baby home and bury her. She had some very good thoughts about how the children are taking the death of their sister. They have been extra mean to each other which is not usual for them. They fight but not all the time and they have been since we found out about the baby. Bryce has been getting in trouble and crying a lot. Haley is just being mean to everyone. She is very angry. Spencer has been a pest almost to drive us crazy .He is doing all he can do be defient. So they are all having a hard time. Their not alone, so are we.
I saw the sergon after that. His name is Dr Gorenberg. He put 7 dialators in it hurt so badly. He was not very gentle. I was in a great deal of pain. I took two percaset .

My D&E

I had to fast going into the surgery so I was a little hungry this moring. My friends told me that they were naughous,but I wasn't. We had to be there at 9:30 for a 11:30 surgery. The nurse took us back and asked us a ton of questions and took 10 viles of blood. They had to call the doctor because that was more blood then they had ever taken from a patient going into surgery. They are going to check for problems that may have to do with the baby. Then I got the IV put in my hand and then they took me away to the surgery room. I was in the room for about a minute and that is all I remember . The next thing I knew is that I was waking up and I wasn't pregnant any more. I had a cry as I came out off it. She was gone it was really happening. Rob came in to see me. They let me eat a grahnm craker and apple juice. It tasted so good. It had been 13 hours since I had eaten. They finally let us go home at 4:00. I was so hungry by then. We stopped for a sub. It tasted so good. I wasn't hurting at all. Compared to last night this was a cake walk.

Christmas Festivities

The month of December was not a good month for the Gifford's. On December 9th Spencer got to feel the baby move and see her move in my belly. He thought that was so cool. I went in for a doctors appointment on the 10th and Dr Gage couldn't find a heartbeat with the dopler. She did an ultrasound and there was no heartbeat. Her chest was already sunk and the measurements were 16 weeks 5 days but Dr Gage said that it was the last few days. I think it happened the day of the doctors appointment. I didn't feel any movement that day and I felt like something was wrong. I held it together pretty good at the doctors office. I came home and went in the bathroom and just wept. Then I called Rob and told him. He was in total shock. He came home right away and gave me a hug. The kids were all very sad. I had an ultrasound the next morning at 9:30. Rob couldn't go so I took Stephine Colman. We were both crying including the ultrasound tech. Then I went home and call Rob. My choices were be put into labor or have a D&E so since it was Friday I told her I would let her know on Monday. We called the family . Which was hard. I was a mess that day. I couldn't believe this was happening to us. I know that Heavenly Father is in charge. He loves us and knows we can handle this. We found out that it was a girl. We named her Sarah Joan Gifford. We know that we will be with her again. I hadn't written anything on the blog about being pregnant because of the last 2 miscarriages. Now it is 3. Well our December wasn't very Christmasy. It is a good time to think of Jesus Christ,he came to earth to take away my sorrows. He has felt my sadness and emptyness.
We did a few things like decorate Christmas cookies and go to Spanaway lights. Other then that is was really depressing.

Nativity at the Ward Christmas party

Bryce was Joseph in the play they did for church. He had a big speaking part. He was so excited. He sings louder that anyone else which the adults love. The Choir of Angels